Notes from the Bedside

First of all, they shaved her head when they did the surgery. If you know Pam, you know she is going to be PISSED about that. They took her head wrap off today - she's half Sinead O'Connor and then half "totally 80s" with an awesome side pony tail. Again. I can only imagine what she has to say about that.

Today is more critical than any of us thought. So karma. Lots, piles, tons of karma. She was running a fever (which is since down thanks to a nice cooling blanket and of course chemical support) and also has a bit of an issue in her lungs. That's the scariest piece. The risk of pneumonia. She's on antibiotics.

Yesterday she was really responsive. Giving thumbs up to all inappropriate jokes amidst lively conversation. I made the joke that our family fully believes in taking drugs for better living - she gave a thumbs up. Pam's in there for sure. She also attempted to throw a pillow. Again. Pam. THEN she actually managed to figure out through a few different steps how to tell me that she really needed me to scratch her leg. Which obviously I did and then we figured out our own shorthand for it. The woman is a genius. The one fun bit of today is that she's figured out how to open her left eye just a bit. Enough so we can see her. Then we all get really close to her face and wave obnoxiously which I'm sure is either hilarious or irritating as hell. When she opens it, she tells us by "pointing" to her face. She can only point so much because she has a restraint on her arm. Why does she have a restraint you ask? Because naturally Pam hates her ventilator so she goes for it when she's got a chance. In fact, when I reprimanded her (which obviously I would never get away with under any other circumstance) she showed her displeasure by trying to use my hand to get it out. Sneaky. But Pam.

So, that's the scoop as of now. There's a little swelling. A little fever. And a little infection. It's scary. I'm really scared. That's obviously an understatement. I'm desperate and terrified. I know you all are sending love and support. And I thank you. As you all know my mom is my other half. She's my hero and my lifeline. She's fighting like she always does.

As far as my dad. He's probably doing about the same as me. He finally slept last night so he's ready to kick ass today. I know you want to help. I wish you could. The nurses here are spectacular. Completely vigilant and to me seem like living angels. Again. I'm getting all of the texts and messages, and it's helping. I just don't have the heart and energy to respond. I have to save myself for her.

There are probably folks I left off. Please feel free to forward. Signing off.