Holiday Prep

I'm home for Thanksgiving. And the first thing I would like to say is...really, who was the genius that decided to settle in Chicago? This weather is the pits. The only thing that makes up for it is the wide-eyed look my mom gave me when she heard my voice.

Meanwhile, on to all things Pam. She's still improving. It's incremental. So incremental that it's only noticeable to those who don't see her every day. Me. Things like her ability to sit up, lean forward and untie her shoes. Last time I was here she was still having trouble even aligning herself. But I know for Dee and dad it doesn't seem as profound.

I did her nails yesterday while my dad read all of us the New York Times wedding announcements. She threatened to bite anyone who made her tried to make her do exercises outside of the scheduled times. She made good on that threat, but luckily dad's reflexes are in good shape.

And lastly, she'll be coming home for Thanksgiving. Yes, it's exciting, but honestly, we're terrified. Seeing her at home, seeing the very real and very harsh contrast of who she is now versus who she was 4 months ago...it's going to be impossible. And then what happens when we have to tell her she has to go back? How do we tell her that she can't stay? But before I can worry about that though, I can't forget to order the shrimp or she'll have my head.

If you have a minute...

Happy Monday everyone.

Instead of me trying to relay the mundane details of mom's progress, I thought I'd let you just read the notes from someone who is great with the mundane....the insurance case manager. So here it is, straight from the insurance horse's mouth.

"Pam continues to make progress, although it fluctuates depending on her endurance that day.  Rebecca, an OT was on vacation for 2 weeks and noticed an obvious improvement in gait distance and independence.  Pam was dependent with dressing, bathing, toileting and is now max assist. That may not sound significant, but it is progress, and it all adds up over time.
 
Her ability to follow directions has improved as has her head control and self care skills. Pam's left shoulder pain is limiting, but she has increased tone. She's able to maintain sitting balance unsupported for an hour during therapy, which is much improved functional endurance.  She has improved in problem-solving and has reduced pushing toward her right side.
 
Therapists say she has had a good response to therapy overall.  Again, because Pam was so ill initially, her recovery will take longer.  Dr. Eliades feels she will continue to progress."

On another note, I just want to give a shout out to my dad and my aunt. I feel like I've stolen a bit of the spotlight (naturally), but they are truly the heroes. Showing up every single day - literally and figuratively. It's draining. It's all consuming. It's a Groundhog's Day experience except without Bill Murray and constant hilarity. I honestly don't know how they do it. It's a testament to both of their spirits and love for my mom. Many of you have sent me notes of encouragement and love, and those do not fall on deaf ears. So if you have a minute, I would just ask for this quick favor, give them the same love and energy that you have been kind enough to give me.

Dee: deehouston@fuse.net
Dad: stanleimer@sbcglobal.net

Warning to the universe

She's doing fine. Still making small progress, but it's progress. When will she be able to come home? No idea. It will probably still be quite a while. There is a chance that we may be able to bring her to the house for Thanksgiving, but the chance is microscopic, so don't want to get too excited. She did get her hair done! The hair angel (the woman who does her hair) came and made her beautiful out of the kindness of her heart. Didn't charge a cent, which is why I call her the hair angel. Personally I thought the grey was rather fetching, but Pam wasn't feeling it and as we all know, if Pam doesn't like it then it gets changed. The city of Evanston's landscaping department has learned that lesson the hard way. Let's just say she should add "volunteer midnight gardner" to her resume.

In the meantime, we're all just plugging along. Trying to adjust to the new normal. It's not easy. Frankly, I'm pretty pissed at the universe. Hey universe, you're on my shit list. You've been warned. Is this some cruel joke at my expense?

Mostly though, I'm just lost. Trying to look for a lesson. That's all you can do in this kind of shitty situation, right? Figure out how to adapt and how to learn something, anything, just so at the very least this experience doesn't completely take me down.

So far, this is what I've got:
1. Somewhere there's a lesson in all of this
2. No, not everything happens for a reason

I'll keep looking.

Love each and every one of you. Thank you for being a constant force. My promise to you all is that I will continue to fight as hard as she is and continue to become the human I know my mom expects from me. Until then, bare with me.