Yesterday evening as the sun was setting mom and I played catch. I have video to prove it, so I know I didn't dream it. I would say "squeeze" she would squeeze, then I would say "throw" and amazingly she would toss the ball to me. I sent the video to a select few of you. I would attach it to this email, but I just know she would be totally appalled if she knew there was a video out there without her hair and nails done.
Last night DM and I threw a little party with her. He and I split a bottle of wine and the three of us rocked out to classical music. I tried to find the Beatles, but the only channels are "new age", "smooth jazz" or "classical". It seemed like the right choice.
Breathing on her own, but still intubated because she won't gag. She does bite however which makes me happy, but not the respiratory nurses. I've spent a lot of time this morning trying to figure out how to make her gag, but even reference to some of her least favorite things is still not working.
I have no idea how any of us are getting through this. It's a constant dream state. Just on autopilot. Sleep, eat, go to hospital and repeat. We are all managing to hold it together - each of us takes our turn throughout the day to have a little meltdown. But never in front of her.
You've all been asking if there's anything we need or anything you can do. You're doing it. So far not feeling alone has been the biggest help. Just knowing that the enormous family that my mom has built is out there supporting us is huge.
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